The Black Hole After Narcissistic Abuse

“Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray the Lord my soul to keep

if I should die before I wake

I pray the Lord my soul to take.”

It’s been almost 2 years since the end of my marriage to a narcissistic psychopath. In the aftermath of his departure, I suffered a complete collapse of all systems that just shut down and went to black. Cognitive dissonance clouded my mind so that I was shrouded in a fog of torment and agony. Crippling panic attacks were disabling and unlike anything I have ever experienced. It was a full-body…

We are the sum total of our experiences and define ourselves by what we do and who we love.

My identity has been forged by a number of things. Life was not kind to me as a bi-racial female growing up in the Texas Panhandle in the 60’s and ’70s. Not only was the environment inhospitable to say the least, but my family was also plagued with mental illness, turmoil, and dysfunction. The life script I was given was tragically flawed, and I lacked the knowledge, resources, or support to effect positive change. I carried this toxic programming into adulthood where I repeatedly chose partners who were similarly incapable of providing anything healthy or long-lasting. …

What is the Source of Cluster B Personality Disorders?

How the narcissist, sociopath, and psychopath are born —

“The man, abandoned by all Gods, escapes completely from reality where he creates for himself another world where he can achieve all the things he wants. He has been unloved and tormented and effectively “splits off.” That part of himself becomes a guardian angel that sees the suffering or murdered child from the outside. It wanders through the whole universe seeking help, inventing fantasies for the child that cannot be saved in any other way.” — Notes and Fragments, Volume 30. 1949.

Faulty imprinting and the disabling consequences of maladaptive attachment

Imprinting is phase-sensitive learning that happens at a critical…

To the Women Who Betray Other Women

When a Narcopath Brings Out His Weapons of Mass Seduction, Sisters Will Murder Each Other with Their Bare Hands!

One crisp autumn day around the time my divorce was final, I received a text message with one word.


I immediately knew it was from one of my replacements. I was amused by the idea that it required several of them to equal one of me. I was wounded by that word and that I had held down the fort for over 15 years for nothing. Who knows how long he will last with his fresh supplies. It could be…

A narcissist-psychopath will throw you to the wolves or feed you to the sharks because they don’t really care about you

Yesterday, I stepped into a soft mound of dirt and immediately knew what it was. I had on flip-flops and a couple of tenacious little buggers latched onto my foot. A fierce few moments of chaos ensued, and a few minutes later, my afternoon walk became a limping retreat to my car. Today, there are three large red welts with itchy blisters on the bottoms of my feet.

I didn’t see the huge ant colony because it was on a shady trail and I simply don’t see things like that. I have Stargardt‘s, which is a genetic eye disease that…

Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse During the Apocalypse

If you are so inclined to believe that these are the last days, I will not disagree with you. They are certainly the last days of many things — jobs, living wages, equality, a stable climate, ample food supply, clean water, public schools as we know them, unrestricted travel, a life without masks, mega concerts and big crowds, movie theatres, local businesses, and so many more things. But could this actually be THE apocalypse? Well, anything is possible. Look around. Something is happening, that’s for sure. And life as we knew it will never be the same.

But like recovery…

Myths About Good Men & Bad Girls

Cultural Sexualization and Objectification of Women

Most people with narcissistic personality disorder are made, not born into it like a psychopath. Sometimes, the conditions overlap and the narcopath is created. Mental health professionals have long asserted that people with NPD are created by extreme trauma, abuse, or neglect in their early childhood between ages 4 and 8. But there are more things at play that are contributing factors. …

A Look at the Three Clusters and a Deep Dive into the Infamous Cluster B

A personality disorder and a personality trait are not the same things. A trait is simply a personality characteristic like generosity or greed. Personality disorders are grouped by the DSM chart into three groups (A, B, C) based on their manifestations. Often internally chaotic disorders that cannot be regulated easily, they are maladaptive patterns of behavior that affect every part of a person’s life. It causes them problems in all areas of their existence and can wreak havoc in the lives of all those around them. …

We Have Arrived at the Precipice: The Culture of Ego Will End Us

“Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.”

In “The Second Coming” by poet William Butler Yeats, he asserts that chaos is descending upon the world; the forces that should bring order are failing to do so. His message is that the present world is falling apart, and a new ominous reality is going to emerge. …

The narcissist, sociopath, and psychopath all share common traits and often have overlapping features

Popular culture is enmeshed in a love affair with naming and stamping and labeling, and no word has experienced such rampant growth as the term narcissist. We all have narcissistic tendencies, but it is when it crosses the line into pathological narcissism that it becomes a disorder. And psychopaths come with their own branding, too. For decades, Hollywood and television have entertained the idea of the psycho with all its variations on that common theme. But what do these diagnoses actually mean? While there are profound differences, there are also quite a few similarities. …

Prajinta Pesqueda

Educator, aspiring humanist, composer of words. Survivor, warrior, healer, believer. Contact me at

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