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The Wizard Narcissist
Some narcissists pursue the dark arts while denying the consequences as always
Once upon a time, there was a young man who had experienced a rather difficult life. His father died when he was in third grade, and his mother entertained a caravan of boyfriends and husbands who were often brutally abusive. The family was a violent and rudderless lot without a moral compass, drifting in a sea of turmoil.
He was ridiculed, shamed, beaten, threatened, molested, neglected, passed around. He witnessed his mother toss aside her suitors like ruined produce past their expiration date. No one gave him love, showed him what it looked like, or allowed him to express it.
His mother demanded foot rubs in a spotless house or there were horrific consequences. One of the most heartbreaking things about my 15 years of marriage to him was how he would strive to take care of the house and then present the sparkling rearrangement of tidy furniture to me with such childlike pride, as if that was the only way he knew how to receive any validation or positive reinforcement. I always wondered why he frequently offered to rub my feet. It was imprinted upon him early in life that this is what you do in hopes of any crumbs of love. You perform a service and then receive some kind of pat on the head or approval in a purely…
