Some of Us Only Crave Crazy

A double dose of reality and a triple scoop of caution

Prajinta Pesqueda
7 min readOct 16, 2022


Let’s dig into the delicious and decadent Cluster B addiction

For some of us, only a disordered person with malignant narcissism, borderline, psychopathy, or anti-social disorder will do. Everyone else pales in comparison to the spectacular light show and pyrotechnics that only a neuro-divergent can deliver.

They are charming and witty, interesting and clever, seductive and naughty. It is a delicious double serving of decadence and delight. But just wait till the bill comes. The cost of this bodacious buffet? It is a price that you can never afford to pay.

So why do some of us chase destruction and court disaster?

Do we not see the danger and step away to a safer place? I told someone recently that after experiencing the outrageous out-of-bounds-behavior of a narcissist, instead of walking away and never looking back, I stayed and faced them head-on and upped the ante. I seized the opportunity to always go one more step beyond. To not be deterred by their lawlessness, but rather just inspired to take it up a notch and always show them that whatever craziness they can bring, I can outperform it and surpass even their wildest dreams.

You eat a bug, I’ll eat three. You steal some gum, I’ll put a whole chicken in my purse. You drink five shots, I’ll drink ten. You expose yourself driving down the freeway, I’ll take my shirt off and moonwalk topless down the street. You jaywalk across that same street, I’ll run across he 101 at rush hour like Frogger (while wearing a blindfold). Get it?

Why are some of us even drawn into the game? Clearly, the behaviors are wrong. Obviously, the narcissist is a tornado, a hurricane, a f*cking volcano that is always on the brink of eruption with hot molten lava covering everyone and everything until nothing but ash remains.

They burn too hot and make you feel too much.

Fire is purifying, and after they have burned you to the ground, maybe you can come back stronger like a forest after a fire. Maybe it helps us clean up the messy parts of ourselves and create a better version. Even so, it hurts to burn in those…



Prajinta Pesqueda

Educator, aspiring humanist, composer of words. Survivor, warrior, healer, believer. Contact me at