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Oversharing, Boundaries, and Respect
The Struggle for Validation and Healing After Relationship Trauma
When people recovering from toxic relationships with people suffering from personality disorders begin to share their stories as part of their healing journey, they have no idea how to begin or who to tell. It's like they have been shot and stabbed and bludgeoned and are trying to get up and stumble or crawl or drag themselves to safety. It’s dark and they are in unfamiliar territory. It is impossible to tell friend from foe. Clearly, there is continued danger, but they know that they are going to have to ask for help if they have any hope of survival. They are in shock, shaken to their core, and seeking sanctuary.
When it happened to me, I was lost. Nothing seemed real, yet I felt every sensation as if my skin had been peeled off of my entire body, and I lay in a fetal position, raw, trembling, and consumed with horror. I had no idea what to do next, who to call, where to turn. I had no friends since every waking minute was spent at work or with my narco-path husband. I had no family since what few actually remained were alienated, traumatized, and similarly abused by my disordered partner. I was alone as many victims of this type of abuse are, and there was no path to move forward.
