Member-only story
Love in the Time of COVID-19
I think a crisis is best approached by a community in solidarity, a family with close support, loyal friends and abundant alliances, and a significant other life partner-helpmate.
Being captive in our empty house has already begun to unravel me as I am surrounded by a life here that no longer exists. I began to wonder what would happen if I got sick. I’m certainly in several at-risk groups. I thought my husband would be beside me when the time came for my final departure, holding my hand, speaking soft words. I think that he should be beside me now as the world burns and death lurks all around us, but he did not value me or our marriage and abandoned it all for the thrill of the chase. How can his delusional false world ever make any sense with the current state of affairs? Does he really want the end to happen in the arms of a young stranger who only loves how he makes her feel? I want my last moments to be with people who actually know me and love me. Not the flavor of the month or some new conquest.
But it’s been nine months since he jettisoned me from his life, and he is over 1000 miles away in LaLa Land living my dream now — hijacking it, really. Why doesn’t authentic love matter? When faced with one’s mortality, it only seems natural to want substance, meaning, depth, purpose, and especially no regrets. But a narcissist is not capable of regret or compassion or…
