Member-only story
How Dumb Dorothy Got Played by the Tin Man
Can You Ever Find Home After Getting Lost in The Land of Oz with a Disordered Partner?
When I was a little girl, The Wizard of Oz scared the bejeezus out of me. I’m not sure why it felt so terrifying, but I imagine it struck a little too close to home. The idea of the evil lady who tried to hurt the little dog, the green witch with her wicked machinations, and the hoards of flying monkeys, yes, especially the monkies kept me trembling in abject fear many nights after the annual showing of the movie.
As I grew older, I discovered a special connection to the film. One spring morning I sat in a psychology class at West Texas State University when the instructor posited an interesting question.
“If your life were a movie, what movie would that be?”
Without hesitation, I replied, “I am Dorothy.”
Most people will tell you a relationship with a narcissist was never real, that you were in love with the mirror image of yourself he projected to you, and that he/she is a non-entity by most definitions.
2.8 years later, I know what he is. I understand that he is beyond repair, living in a parallel universe, driven to keep his false self alive by constant infusions of fuel from others and that he does…
