Guilty

The person who remains in a relationship with a narcopath is often complicit in the toxic pairing but why?

Prajinta Pesqueda
7 min readAug 25, 2024

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Dainis Graveris@dainisgraveris

Those of us who were manipulated, exploited, conditioned, brainwashed, disrespected, humiliated, entrained, dehumanized, betrayed, abandoned, smeared, tormented, hypnotized, violated, deceived, played, corrupted, and abused — we reacted with learned helplessness, addiction, dependency, codependency, trauma bonding, Stockholm syndrome, guilt and shame, paralysis, mental and physical deterioration, neuro-chemical imbalances, and a slow poisoning of the soul.

It is messy business to be partnered with a person who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

While we were captive in the shared fantasy, often ill equipped or unable to leave, there was a mutual psychosis that occurred. Both parties were delusional and had magical thinking and a disconnect from reality.

It is important to understand that there is one thing that we are not and should never claim to be.

Victims.

It is dangerous to assume victim mentality and join that club with the new identity branded on their forehead like the scarlet A from Hawthorne’s novel of guilt and denial. One of the most systemic problems our world now faces originates from victimhood…

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Prajinta Pesqueda

Educator, aspiring humanist, composer of words. Survivor, warrior, healer, believer. Contact me at Narc2Thrive@gmail.com