Finding Safety After Narcissistic Abuse Informed Trauma
Of all the things we lose in this relationship, safety is the hardest to recover
When I was a little girl, I never felt safe. My home was a war zone, my mother was mentally unstable, and my father stayed away from home as much as possible. When they were together, they fought, and it was violent threats of murder, flying objects across the room, guns and knives and daggers, and frequent police intervention. There was constant talk of divorce that never happened, a climate of instability and that was home sweet home.
Needless to say, I never felt safe.
I think that’s the number one thing that children need, the feeling of protection and a sanctuary where they can escape the horrors of the world. But what happens to the child that comes home to the horror?
My marriage of 15 years to a covert narcissist turned everything on its head from the first time I encountered him. And strangely enough, it was an odd paradox that manifested by creating to opposite responses. I felt in my gut the red flag warnings sthat creamed at me attempting to warn me that I was in danger. At the same time, I felt a kind of peace and safety that I have never in my life experienced. It was like he was the mother I never had and created a surrogate…
