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Everyone Changes — Except the Narcissist
We reinvent ourselves many times, but the narcissist cannot. What do we do with this nefarious fact?
Dr. Sam Vaknin so aptly says, ”People are like a rivers, not ponds.”
We are in a constant state of flux, evolving, adapting. It is sometimes difficult to, accept or believe that the people who enter our lives are only temporarily that version of themselves. Overtime, they will re-construct portions of their identity for one reason or another. They will not remain stagnant or the same.
In a marriage, the key to remaining together, lies in the ability to weather these changes together, leaning into the turns, and bending together without breaking. Change is possible with honest communication and willingness to make sacrifices or modifications, as necessary for the other person. Ultimately, you find a happy common ground somewhere in the middle.
One of the most challenging parts of recovery from trauma and abuse is acknowledging that the abuser cannot change. So often, in cases where the abuser is not a narcissist, they will see the harm done by their behavior and modify it accordingly. They will try their hardest to expunge those toxic traits and develop healthier ones to support and nurture Safely with boundaries and awareness of the…
