Eternal Sunshine of the Medicated Mind

The iconic film, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, entertains the idea that we could essentially erase all of our bad memories and the pain that accompanies them with a simple procedure. “Eternal Sunshine” is a metaphor for ongoing peace and happiness that we all deserve but cannot achieve due to crisis or trauma or loss in our lives. Perhaps simply having a spotless mind does not bring eternal sunshine, but it sure sounds inviting to someone who cannot stop the painful memories and poisonous thoughts from flowing in.

After another exceptionally brutal meltdown in a pubic place recently, I finally contacted my doctor and asked for help. I accepted the fact that my batshit crazy episodes did not require triggers and that I was spiraling out of control with emotions that hijacked my brain daily. I was told that in cases of complex trauma like mine, the brain is trying to go through a chemical addiction withdrawal process that causes actual physical symptoms such as heart palpitations, shortness of breath, shaking and trembling, and other physical maladies.

The remedy?

Benzodiazepines. A class of drugs primarily used for treating anxiety which work by affecting neurotransmitters in the brain, chemicals that nerves release in order to communicate with other nearby nerves. Excessive activity of nerves may be the cause of…