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Addicted to a Narcissist?
Addiction is Part of the Narcissistic Abuse Cycle
I am an addict.
My addiction is not alcohol or drugs or sex or gambling or food. It is not the kind of addiction that most people would recognize or understand. But it is real, and it is powerful. So powerful that it is complete insanity and larger than life.
I was married for fifteen long years to the man of my dreams. But some of that dream was a pure nightmare, and I simply refused to acknowledge the horror. And it was so terrifying, so unbelievable, and so soul-shattering that I simply could not face the reality of it. Therapists had even named it in the last few years, but our shared fantasy was too compelling and denial was a comfortable blanket that I wrapped myself in to avoid the truth. I discounted the diagnosis and tried to convince my therapist that we were bulletproof after all we had been through during our many years of marriage. I could fix him. I knew I could. I was an empath and a healer after all. Of course, I could make everything okay with the power of my love. And of course, I was out of my mind for thinking I could change anything. These fantasy beliefs are called magical thinking and are a common feature that both you and your narcissist share in the toxic abuse cycle.
