A Perfect Pairing: The Narcissist & the Empath/Wounded Child

They are Both Hollow and Complete Each Other

Prajinta Pesqueda
8 min readJul 29, 2022


Wilhelm Gunkel

One of the most profound things that I have learned from studying the narcissistic cycle of abuse and the people who are caught in the web of mutual psychosis (also known as the shared fantasy), is this one idea. The composition of both the narcissist and their partner is similar in many ways.

It goes like this.

The narcissist does not know himself see himself or himself, but he is extremely gifted in studying others and recognizing exactly what they are and what makes them check. The codependent person has a very clear picture of themselves and understands their reliance on others; however, they are incapable of seeing the reality of other people. They see what they want to see, but they need to see.

The relationship between the person with narcissistic personality disorder and the person and a dependent personality disorder person is a perfect match for many reasons. There are many types of narcissists and also numerous types of codependents and empaths as well. All of them are responses to early childhood trauma in most cases. They involve fantasy as a means of coping. And they are all empty inside and need external validation.

Their reaction to the trauma is what creates either the person with narcissistic disorder or dependency disorder. Both are pathological reactions to unbearable abuse or neglect and both result from the unavailable or impaired parent figure. Both the narcissist and the dependent have a tendency to replay the roles of parent and child from their childhood.

Types of Dependent Personality Disorder

Alexandre Cabanel (1823–1889), Echo (1874), oil on canvas, 97.8 x 66.7 cm, Metropolitan Museum of Art, NY, The portrayal of Echo’s ill-fated love for Narcissus
  1. Borderline Co-dependent- Fear of abandonment, clingy, prone to panic submissive, merge with loved ones with no autonomy, classic type
  2. Psychopathic Codependent- Fear of Losing Control, dramatic, chaotic, weaponize helplessness, emotionally blackmail others
  3. Vicarious Codependent- Thrive from second-hand success, inverted narcissist…



Prajinta Pesqueda

Educator, aspiring humanist, composer of words. Survivor, warrior, healer, believer. Contact me at Narc2Thrive@gmail.com

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