The Structural Integrity of the Brain with NPD is Compromised

In recent years, we can actually see narcissism in the brain shown in imaging tests like MRIs and CT scans. People who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder have structural abnormalities in regions of the brain that have been linked to empathy. Researchers have found that people with this disorder can…

The Black Hole After Narcissistic Abuse

Mike Von

“Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray the Lord my soul to keep

if I should die before I wake

I pray the Lord my soul to take.”

It’s been almost 2 years since the end of my marriage to a narcissistic psychopath. In the aftermath of his…

We are the sum total of our experiences and define ourselves by what we do and who we love.

“My Philosopher Queen” by B. Pesqueda

My identity has been forged by a number of things. Life was not kind to me as a bi-racial female growing up in the Texas Panhandle in the 60’s and ’70s. Not only was the environment inhospitable to say the least, but my family was also plagued with mental illness…

Concrete Science-Based Reasons Why Leaving an Abusive or Relationship with a Narcissistic Sociopath Can Be So Hard

“Lost in LaLa Land” credits: ppesqueda bpesqueda

I never understood why abused people stay with their partners. I was always critical of their choice to remain with their tormentors, subject their children to horrible things, and just keep getting off the ground, trembling, bloody-faced, only to say, “May I have another, sir?” I judged them harshly as…

The shocking reaction when people with NPD face the discrepancy between an ideal view of the self and a drastically contrasting realization

“Welcome to the Jungle” 2012 pesqueda

I did it. I mortified my husband.

I was married for a long time to a disordered, maladapted man with NPD, and we lived mostly happily in a mutually psychotic state (also known as the shared fantasy) for almost sixteen years. And while the illusion of a perfect marriage permeated…

Not a Madonna and Not a Whore — The World is a Vampire

“The world is a vampire, sent to drain —
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames.” ~ Smashing Pumpkins

Sergey Katyshkin

The transactional commerce between a woman and the men around her can be abysmal at best in a world of disposable, temporary, superficial connections. There are givers and takers, and…

The hard lessons learned from a long marriage to a narcissistic psychopath

“Chupacabra Mascarading as a Sheep” circa 2019

When I was a little girl, I learned how to normalize psychotic behavior from watching my mother have episodic meltdowns. The desensitization happened early, and I thought nothing of it when the red and blue lights would reflect through my bedroom window as the police would show up once or…

Silly goose, you thought you could love a disordered partner back to wellness?

Kelly Sikkema

Fool — “a person who acts unwisely or imprudently; a silly person.”

We all do foolish things, but it’s something else altogether when a person is defined as a fool. Within weeks after my husband suddenly discarded me, I received a text message with one word. You guessed it. It said, “Fool.”

Considering the amount of pain that I was suffering at…

The Narcopath Burns Everything to the Ground

Ryan Cryar@itellyahwhut

In the beginning of my journey following a fifteen-year marriage to a narcissistic psychopath, I often thought to myself, “If one more person comes up to me and tells me to embrace my loss and celebrate the freedom to learn and grow and create an improved version of myself, I…

And the Shared Fantasy with them is Never NeverLand

Eric Muhr @ unsplash

Never gonna be a man
I won’t
Like to see somebody try
And make me
Anyone who wants to try
And make me turn into a man
Catch me if you can! ~
“I Won’t Grow Up”, Peter Pan

Narcissism comes up a lot in discussions about Peter Pan syndrome…

Prajinta Pesqueda

Educator, aspiring humanist, composer of words. Survivor, warrior, healer, believer. Contact me at

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